Something Stinks Around Here

The Phillies acquired Asdrubal Cabrera from the New York Mets on Friday. The Phillies have not won since Friday. Coincidence? I think not. The stink from the putrid New York Mets has obviously been transported to the Phillies along with their new infielder. 

Cabrera started today and Saturday, and has yet to reach base. I'm sure this 3-game losing streak isn't his fault. He seems like a nice enough person. But it's a case of guilt by association. The stank that is the New York Mets is hard to shake. And having that stank firmly in place when headed to Boston to play the best team in baseball is not a good thing.

The Phillies need to pull Cabrera aside and distract him. Then they need to burn EVERY SINGLE THING he brought with him from New York–bats, gloves, cleats, batting gloves, sunglasses, whatever. Get him all new equipment. A whole new wardrobe as well. New watches and necklaces if need be. Nothing, and I mean nothing, that was associated with the god-awful, evil, pathetic, icky New York Mets can be a part of this organization. 

I'm serious. Destroy everything he owns. Call an exorcist. Call Jobu. Call somebody, anybody who can help. Do something to get rid of the stank. Do it now before things get worse. The baseball gods must be appeased.