Phils Will Win Tonight

The Phillies are playing the Red Sox at Citizens Bank Park tonight. I have tickets to the game. The Phillies are undefeated (4-0) in games I've attended this season. Ergo, the Phils will win.

How do I know this? Well, I had tickets for the Phillies-Dodgers game on Monday, July 23. I couldn't go to the game, so my friend Lynne agreed to buy them. With Lynne in my seats, the Phils lost. Why? Because I wasn't there.

So the Phils will win tonight because I will be in attendance. And if for some reason they don't win, it's not my fault. What kind of moron thinks a team is going to win because they're in the stands? Unless they win. And then I'm totally taking credit for it.