Derek Jeter, president of the Miami Marlins and a man devoid of personality, has gotten his wish and as a result, the ridiculous fish-themed Art Deco home run monstrosity will be removed from Marlins Park.
I’m not a big fan of the sculpture but that’s not the point. The marlins are bad and not entertaining the home rub sculpture is bad but entertaining. It looks like it was purchased at Liberace's garage sale. It was loud and garish and tacky. But at least it was entertaining.
Nobody comes to see the Marlins anyway. They were dead last in MLB in attendance this past season, drawing 811,000 fans to their glorified airline terminal of a ballpark.
Derek Jeter hates fun. He was a Yankee. The Yankees are not fun. They’re evil and bad. Jeter continues the Marlins tradition of trading away good players in pursuit of eternal suckitude. Christian Yelich was dealt to the Brewers and he has his new team 2 games from the World Series and will probably win national league MVP.
What’s next? Will Jeter order the fish tanks behind home plate emptied because the colors are too bright? Is he trying to remake the Marlins in his own boring vanilla image?
Losing the derp fish home run sculpture would be like losing the bell at Citizens Bank Park. It’s the first thing you think of when the ballpark comes to mind. But Mr. Generic hates fun. We hate generic. The derp fish was about all the Marlins had doing for them. And now that’s gone too, courtesy of Jeter.
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